If you are here but not staying
couldn’t you also go, without actually going?
If family matters to you
so god damn much
then…where are they?
If all you thought about was me back then
and I am here now
then isn’t this the now you prayed for?
If you wrote a book about us…
is it filed under Fiction
or just Reference?
Because me and my children…
are Non Fiction. Just sayin’
If you ride all the way to Paradise
but leave behind the people that love you,
I think only your horse is allowed in.
I don’t like being seen in retrospect…
it’s not my good side.
So if you truly see what you missed
it is already too late for both of us
and it makes me wonder
if it is vain to refuse
to always be valued
“If you had stayed we—” ?
I don’t know how to finish that line…
All my words are busy,
out of breath
with telling myself
how to survive
how you didn’t.
If only this had happened just once.
If only just with one partner.
If only one had stayed.